Filed under: section IV of the Friendship Code

Make it official.
We mean it.

The platform of record for non-romantic commitment. Two parties enter a binding* friendship contract — drafted in mock-formal legalese, sealed with payment, and entered onto the public record.

*Not legally binding. Officially official per this platform. We are not a notary.

MAKE IT OFFICIAL
Certificate of Official Friendship
Be it known to all reading this document, on this May 30, 2026
that
Matthew Taylor
and
Clay Kimball
of sound mind and matching energy, did enter into a binding* friendship, now and forever known to this platform as
Official Homeboys
MIO-2026-DAATXF
MIO
Officiated
May 30, 2026
— The procedure —

Four articles, plainly stated.

Article I

File the petition

Either party initiates. Name the bond, invite the other party by electronic mail. Token-gated, expires in fourteen days.

Article II

Draft the clauses

Either party may compose clauses, or invoke our drafting attaché — a parody legal scribe — to render terms in proper form.

Article III

Sign & remit

Every party affixes a typed signature — or, on a solo filing, just you. The petitioner remits a single recording fee for the whole filing — from $8.99 solo, $9.99 for two parties, tiered upward. Skin in the game; ink on the page.

Article IV

Receive your certificate

A serialized certificate is issued, sealed, and entered onto the public registry. Suitable for framing, sharing, and reasonable bragging.

— Schedule of fees —

Posted plainly.

The recording fee
from $8.99
— flat per filing, by tier —
  • Solo (you file alone)$8.99
  • 2 parties$9.99
  • 3–5 parties$24.99
  • 6+ parties$29.99

Paid once by the petitioner. Other parties just sign — no fee from them. On a solo filing, the represented parties don't sign at all — just you.

The dissolution fee
$19.99
— flat, ceremonial —

The dissolving party pays a flat $19.99 to file the decree. A symbolic sum may be acknowledged unto the other party — recorded on the certificate, but no funds change hands.

Notice of Closing

Friendship, but with paperwork.

For the bonds that earned their boilerplate.